Good to Be Back

April 17th, 2009 San Diego,CA

As you know, it can be hard to come back home. You get this whole reverse culture shock thing and the fun disappears from your daily life. Luckily, I don't have a job (haha) so I didn't have to go back to work. My last few days n New Zealand I did one last ride in Waiheke Island, just to say farewell and get one last ride in. It was extremely difficult but beautiful and I realized I really enjoyed the cycling in New Zealand and would definitely go back. I was able to focus long enough to get off a letter to the PM John Keyes about building the nation-wide cycling path, and it felt good to put a piece of writing together. I purchased a bunch of travel magazines for inspiration and also to see if I could submit any articles to them.

Writing isn't easy, I've discovered, but the hardest part is truly believing I can do it. Although I have thought about this path obsessively for the last 3 months, coming back and announcing this with conviction to my friends and family is challenging. I just keep hearing the voice in my head saying that I cant do it, its not practical and I will fail. I try to blame the economy for making me feel this way, but really its just me. I realize I don't quite believe in myself and this is essential.

The other challenge on my plate is to stay focused. I know my mom wanted to laugh out loud when I started talking about goals and steps to goals and not settling for anything less. How many years has she been telling me that? Who knows, but what I am trying to do is decide how I want to live and what work I want to do, and NOT get distracted by the other interesting ideas and pathways that present themselves. I have a tendency to apply for jobs that I think I could do, and just sort of think if I get a call back, then it was meant to be my next thing. This has usually worked out pretty well, almost serendipitously, it seems, when I look back. But was it?

Economy and flooded job market aside, its time for me to be more focused. I've decided that I want to work part-time for Pearson, or perhaps teach ESL to make money. The other half of my work will be writing.

So there it is: I will be a writer, journalist, or whatever you call it. It's creative, I get to travel, I get to go out and talk to people, I get to take it all in and spit it all back out, and all of you out there get to enjoy it vicariously.

Now that it's settled, I can't think of anything that suits me better.