saturday january 3rd, 2009
Happy New Year! Yeah, whatever.
Its hard to feel overly optimistic about the new year; something seems missing to me. Does everyone feel that way? On one hand, I do feel anything is possible, while on the other hand I dont feel confident about going in any particular direction. I am yet to be completely decided about my next step, and as of now, I dont have immediate pressure to make a decision. It is kind of nice, maybe even a luxury. I am grateful to be able to relax about my parents house while I figure out what to do next. For that reason, it does feel appropriate to begin the new year with them, at home, relaxed and without pressure or stress.
Now that I have had a taste of the real world, I dont think I need to go back there. I was much happier with a piecemeal existence, not alighting upon any one thing for too long. I was working too much, and enjoying too little. Just because this is real life for many people doesnt mean it has to be for me. Also, why should I be compelled to think there are so few possibilities for me? Why should I feel doomed to carry out a hollow existence? I have lost joy in my life, enthusiasm. There was a time when I felt it in my own heart, and didnt just imagine it was happening for other people. I want to feel joy again.
No, the one career, 9 to 5 is not for me. I am too varied, too non-traditional, and too creative to be squelched inside a typical life. Dreams are what make us alive. Daring to dream is the most alive thing you can do. Whether or not you realize each dream doesnt matter, but the moment you stop dreaming, stop trying new things and stop feeling that everything is possible, well that is death. If that is growing up, than I am peter pan.
New ideas for 2009-- art school, starting a business, trips, joining some clubs, and lots of beach time, new friends, closer to home, have a great summer and by next holiday season be a new me, which is like the old me, all over again!
Happy New Year! Yeah, whatever.
Its hard to feel overly optimistic about the new year; something seems missing to me. Does everyone feel that way? On one hand, I do feel anything is possible, while on the other hand I dont feel confident about going in any particular direction. I am yet to be completely decided about my next step, and as of now, I dont have immediate pressure to make a decision. It is kind of nice, maybe even a luxury. I am grateful to be able to relax about my parents house while I figure out what to do next. For that reason, it does feel appropriate to begin the new year with them, at home, relaxed and without pressure or stress.
Now that I have had a taste of the real world, I dont think I need to go back there. I was much happier with a piecemeal existence, not alighting upon any one thing for too long. I was working too much, and enjoying too little. Just because this is real life for many people doesnt mean it has to be for me. Also, why should I be compelled to think there are so few possibilities for me? Why should I feel doomed to carry out a hollow existence? I have lost joy in my life, enthusiasm. There was a time when I felt it in my own heart, and didnt just imagine it was happening for other people. I want to feel joy again.
No, the one career, 9 to 5 is not for me. I am too varied, too non-traditional, and too creative to be squelched inside a typical life. Dreams are what make us alive. Daring to dream is the most alive thing you can do. Whether or not you realize each dream doesnt matter, but the moment you stop dreaming, stop trying new things and stop feeling that everything is possible, well that is death. If that is growing up, than I am peter pan.
New ideas for 2009-- art school, starting a business, trips, joining some clubs, and lots of beach time, new friends, closer to home, have a great summer and by next holiday season be a new me, which is like the old me, all over again!
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